The 10 Permissions

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Each time I facilitate a training I start out with the 10 Permissions. These were created by Dr. Taibi Kahler to be an encouragement to trainers of the Process Communication Model. As it turns out, they also are great for training participants and really just about anyone looking to be fully themselves. Below are the 10 Permissions with a little explanation for each.

1.     It’s OK to be you

You are one of a kind. God made you unique. You don’t need to be anyone else. You are enough!

2.     It’s OK to feel good about yourself even if you make a mistake or don’t know all the answers

This isn’t about egotistical self-esteem. It’s about separating who you ARE from what you DO. You are a human being, not a human doing.

3.     It’s OK to take your time

Contrary to the messages all around us in our hurry-up world, the mind and soul function best when given enough time to be intentional and present.

4.     It’s OK to be self-full

What!?! This is not the same as selfish. Self-full means tending to your most important psychological, spiritual, social, and physical needs so that you are energized to serve others. Not doing this leaves may leave you ill-equipped to be an effective parent, boss, coach, or employee. Yes, it’s OK to put on your oxygen mask first.

5.     It’s OK to be open

Be open to the connections with other participants and the emotions you experience within.

6.     It’s OK to succeed

This may come as a surprise to all the Type-A personalities out there, but some people really struggle to succeed. It’s OK to accept success as a product of your hard work, support of others, and even a little luck. It’s OK to be proud.

7.     It’s OK for others to win too

Type A personalities, I’m talking to you again. You don’t have to win all the time. When you do your best and someone else still comes out on top, congratulate them. Don’t be a sore loser.

8.     It’s OK to want others to learn and grow without expecting them to

Expectations, as they say, are the surest path to disappointment. When I want without expecting, I am able to share responsibility for the outcome while honoring each person’s God given creation.

9.     It’s OK to have strengths and weaknesses

Self-awareness and emotional intelligence are all about understanding your strengths and weaknesses. When we make the most of our strengths and weaknesses we glorify God because we are made in God’s image!

10.  It’s OK to own your own potency

There’s a time to accept defeat, and there’s a time to step up and use what you’ve been given, exercise your gifts. Humans are agentic beings, capable of exerting effort towards goals. In fact, human agency is the key to hope.

These permissions give shape to how we hope Servants By Design learning takes place. We give these permissions to ourselves and to others as we journey together through the material and toward our God.

The 10 Permission explanations are adapted with permission from a blog by PCM Master Trainer Nate Regier, Ph.D. (2018)