The 1 Truth and 4 Myths of Bad Behavior


Bad behavior is not the result of bad people. People are beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of God. This is the truth:

1 Truth: God created us good and delights in our unique personality and design.

Bad behaviors are always rooted in a myth which drives our behavior. Here are the four myths of bad behavior:

You will be OK , if you…
This myth is attractive to folks with a strong sense of right and wrong. It also is appealing to those who lack patience and are ready to strike when the iron is hot! The problem with this myth is that it makes “OK’ness” conditional based on human expectation and leaves little room for God’s grace. Believers of this myth will overly focus on what is wrong instead of what is right or alienate teammates, forcing them to fend for themselves. 

I will be OK, if I…
This myth is attractive to those who doubt themselves, lack persistence, or over function for others. The problem with this myth is that it fills the believer with self-judgment, which is often unnecessarily harsh and lacks the perspective of God’s graciousness. Believers of this myth will take on more work than they can handle, lack assertiveness, become wishy-washy or spin their wheels. 

You are NOT OK…
This myth provides justification to attack or blame others. It distorts God’s truth of personality diversity into a judgmental hierarchy of character strengths. Believers of this myth feel empowered to speak harshly to others, manipulate, and blame. 

I am NOT OK…
This myth provides justification to self criticize, withdrawal, and droop. When viewing the world through this distortion, it feels like everyone else is smarter, kinder, better. The believer of the myth will self isolate, ignore personal boundaries, and make silly demoralizing mistakes. 

If you, or someone you know, is exhibiting bad behavior it is rooted in one of these myths. The antidote is not to focus on the behavior but to address the myth itself. Take the Servants By Design Individual Profile to discover what type of self-care will help you avoid the myths of bad behavior.